Anybody who had a job knows very well what it feels to work with a co-worker who feels good in hating you.
“Of course, it’s impossible to be liked by everyone in the office,” says Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behaviour and Thrive in Your Job.”
While there are co-workers who would not mind letting you feel the hatred towards you, many are there who can easily hide their hatred. “Most co-workers won’t overtly show their disdain for you so as not to cause trouble or jeopardize their own careers,” explains Lynn. Bitter hatred inside wrapped with sweet words is very common in the workplace.
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Michael Kerr, an international business speaker and author of “The Humor Advantage,” agrees. “When your coworkers like you, everything becomes easier,” he says.
“People have your back when you need it the most, you can ask for and get favours more easily, people will volunteer to help in times of need, and you can get far better cooperation even across departments.”
Here are a few other signs which show that your co-workers do not like you.
- They don’t smile when you’re around
- They never ask about your personal life
- They constantly stare at you
- They try to encourage you to leave the company
- They throw you under the bus
- They never make you or your work a priority
- They get defensive around you
- They’re snippy
- They exclude you
- They Avoid Face-to-Face Communication
How to Deal With a Co-worker that Hates You?
Usually, its human nature that every person wants to be liked by the people around them. When no one likes you, then you can assure that it is you who has done something wrong.
But if only one person or small group are unhappy with you, then you need to talk to them and clear all sorts of disturbance running in between. As not only the workplace but colleagues also play an important role in giving job satisfaction for an employee.
Not everytime, everything gets dissolved so easily. It is common that in an organization, getting along with everybody is next to impossible. Making everyone happy is not practical, especially when you are in a responsible position. So it is obvious that there will be coworkers who would not like you.
Here are a few ways on how you can deal with such people who hate you.
- Take a Step Back
- Accept It as it comes
- Plan wisely your plan of action
- Maintain the utmost professionalism
So here are such signs which would help one spot the jealous co-worker and beware of, before it’s too late to save mishaps.
24 Top signs of a Jealous Co-worker:
The following mentioned are few tips on how to tell if a coworker is jealous of you and the top signs related to it.
1. The 6th sense smells it:
If there is something different in a co-worker’s behaviour especially towards you, it’s your gut feeling or the 6th sense that makes you aware that yes he/she might be developing some kind of bitter feeling in him/her which may affect you. You would smell the probability of being their not so favourite person. Trust on your senses and try avoiding collision with such persons around you.
2. They avoid you:
If a co-worker is not OK with you he/she would always avoid facing you. It becomes difficult for a person to face the one who he/she hates. If you face such situations when a colleague is trying to avoid you by going to lunch after when you have finished with the lunch or avoids using the space where you are present, it’s for sure that person is not comfortable with your presence and beware of him/her.
3. Change in Facial expression when you are around:
Talking to you or talking about you may not give any excitement to such co-workers. Whenever you are around, they may try to be over serious and not even smile or laugh at jokes cracked in office, where all others are participating wholeheartedly. Such behaviour may not be necessarily the occasional mood offs but they intentionally do not smile much when you around, this is a sign of their dislike towards you.
4. They spread rumours about you:
Most of the cases of hatred among colleagues are jealousy. Out of jealousy, a person indulges into any kind of activity which is not always morally supportive. When you come to know that any of your colleagues are spreading unnecessary rumours about you, take for sure that the person is jealous of and hates you. This kind of activity is very childish and unprofessional too, but is very common in workplace. So being aware of such situation and acting immediately on it is worth praising.
5. They avoid making eye contact with you:
It’s a human psychological trait that it’s difficult to look straight at someone’s eyes when you don’t like or have no respect for him/her. The same happens when a colleague nurtures some bad feeling towards you, he/she will not look straight to your eyes and continue to steal sight from you. If you come across a colleague who avoids eye contact with you, this may probably be a reason. They have no good feelings towards you in their mind which is preventing them to have straight eye contact with you.
6. Spread Negative Comments about you:
In most cases hatred results from sheer jealous feeling. Out of jealousy a co-worker makes negative comments and unpleasant remarks about your achievement, sometimes in groups or in social sites and may even go to extent of exaggerated complaints against you to your superior.
7. They don’t acknowledge your presence:
If a colleague overlooks your presence in the room, it concludes how he/she has a feeling towards you. If he/she intentionally avoids wishing you good morning while entering the room or saying goodbye while leaving, then the person is directly avoiding a good relation with you and you may easily trace a feeling of hatred in him/her towards you. These may be very small things but they matter a lot in understanding someone’s motive and feeling towards you.
8. They give off negative body language:
Whether it’s a subtle roll of the eyes or not even responding to your topics, neglecting your entry to the room or sitting in a closed manner while your discussions are on in the group, it is very easy and clear to understand one’s mentality towards you. If you are not in one’s favoured list then he/she will not take any interest to listen to you and would hardly look up from their computers or response. They might catch up some particular point where they may show disagreement with you else would keep quiet and show over busyness even if they have no assignments running. These small etiquettes and gestures tell what a person is nurturing inside about you.
9. They Hit you:
Though they may show it’s accidentally but its intentional again and again if you find your co-workers hit you constantly whenever they pass by, could be a alert that they feel disturbed with your presence.
10. Constantly disagreeing:
If you find that every point of your discussion is facing disagreement and your ideas are constantly bogged down, it is a sign that they don’t like you. If they dislike you they would be biased and it would be clearly evident. If before you have finished your sentence you are rejected or every possible proposal of yours is shattered then it’s a clear sign of you not being their favourite.
11. You are never invited to social events:
This may be a very common or easy to understand sign, when you are not invited to one’s social gatherings or project meetings over coffee. We always try to get close to our favourite ones in our special moments or gatherings and avoid them those who we hate. When you do not get an invitation, but others are invited to a social event then you should easily figure out the rate of hatred the person is having for you. Even when somebody does not turn up for your invitation intentionally could also be a hint for you to understand their feeling for you.
12. They communicate in short with you:
When you find a colleague is becoming more than necessary short with you then it’s easy to smell something wrong. When you face short answers like OK, FINE, YES or NO to your open-ended questions you would not be wrong to conclude that the person does not want to further any conversation with you rather is avoiding you. It is also if you find direct to the point emails without any greetings or so, this may be a sign of you not being among their favoured people.
13. Even though sitting closely they prefer communicating via emails mostly:
Though you sit close by if they prefer communicating over mails of IM, it’s a sign of dislike towards you. When we doesn’t like somebody we try to limit in-person communication and try to digitise our need from him/her. If you come across such act of unnecessary shift towards a more digital communication that might be a sign your co-workers are trying to avoid you in person.
14. They don’t ever include you in their office humours:
When they are not intentionally including you in their office talks or humours, you can trace a hint of hatred towards you. Laughing on jokes cracked are the key ways to cement relationships but if you are not allowed in such discussions or you feel a sudden change in the environment with your entry, it may be that they are not comfortable with your presence. They are not considering you in their team.
15. Less personal talks with you:
More close with other colleagues but not with you. If you notice other colleagues discussing personal topics about holiday trips, kids, cooking, movies, and hobbies but sharing no personal talks with you or when you are around, is a gesture of avoiding or disliking you. They may also gossip about you when you are not around and suddenly you feel that they stop talking when you enter the room, is a point to beware that they dislike you and talking at back about you.
16. They assume/exercise unauthorized power on you:
Though they are not assigned to boss on you, they would try to exercise unauthorised power throwing instructions on you, unnecessarily poking nose in your assignments trying to hamper them or put you into embarrassing situations.
17. They Steal Credit for your ideas:
It happens many times, that your ideas get stolen and your colleagues presenting it labelling as their own, using a report created by you by simply changing your name to theirs and take credit. It is very common sign of hatred when you come across situations like omitting your names in the list of project participants or intentionally not including your name in the email distribution list for works they completed with you or your help.
18. Diminishes your success:
In several situations when you achieve success you are not rewarded to the mark, rather you are very lowly cheered is a sign enough to make you understand a negative feeling among your colleagues. When you can observe over cheerful messages for other colleagues for same kind of project success, a different behaviour is a mark of dissatisfaction or hatred for you. To such people who don’t deserve all the good things you have, they may also go to the extent of reminding you repeated about your failures in past.
19. They don’t handle compliments well:
In many cases, jealousy is another main cause behind hatred among co-workers in office. Out of jealousy, people would feel difficult to listen to compliments about you, a gesture of moving away or getting unnecessarily busy in assignments are signs of co-workers hatred towards you.
20. They tell other people they hate you:
Some co-workers become outrageous in hating and go to any limit when it’s your turn. They even will tell your other co-workers how much they dislike you and your presence. They might also make false statements in your name to make you fall in other’s eyes too.
21. You can smell a stealth campaign against you:
It happens mostly when any new joined asks about experiences of working with you. Answers like raised eyebrows, a sigh, all of these can be signs of dislike towards you rather working with you.
22. You find hard to crack deals:
When it’s your turn, things become different than others. When you are into such situations be sure of some negative feeling working among your co-workers. In case of getting an appointment with the boss, getting a leave sanctioned or getting office needs fulfilled, if you face serious delays than others does, it is a sure sign of hatred which you should beware of.
23. They insult you openly:
Facing open insults will make you surer about how deep hatred may co-workers perceive for someone. When you face open insult or exaggeration of facts in workplace, you can understand that there is a negative feeling working among your colleagues about you.
24. There is a fundamental lack of trust:
You are included in a project and unnecessarily removed from the same and this happens often on then there is a sure matter of lack of trust on you which is a cause of sheer hatred on you. If your work and motives are questioned unusually more than others, then its a sign of an jealous co-worker and to worry about.
Work to all of us is worship and the workplace like a sacred place and not a place to nurture hatred or bad feelings towards somebody to such an extent that may lead to a career loss or even life risk in extreme cases.