It is OK to be angry at work; however it should be managed and channeled well to be constructive. Anger is the need to let the other person know that you are being harmed. When this is expressed in a calm manner it can lead to workplace benefits.
It is inappropriate in a workplace setting for someone to become deviant and slam doors, throw things on the desk and splutter obscenities. Anger never has to be expressed in this manner but anger expressed productively will help in transforming the situation altogether.
The following mentioned are few tips on how to control emotions and managing angry at work.
1. Think before speaking:
In the moment of rage, take a time to collect your thoughts. It is very easy to say things when angry which you might regret in the future. This will help the others involved and also to take some time to reflect on their own thoughts.
2. Frustration leads to anger:
Workplace frustration usually leads to anger. Perhaps you are stuck in a situation or trapped in a project, coworker taking the best part in a big project or boss’s disorganization for a meeting set by you or even a mere holding a phone call for a long time can lead to frustration.
3. Prevent and evaluate:
You can prevent yourself from feeling the way you feel in a situation and take a peek at the situation. Consider the reasons why you feel frustrated and then consider the positive things in the situation.
4. Finding the positives in a situation:
Thinking about the positive aspects of a situation will help you to perceive things in a completely different manner. It is a simple and small change in your contemplation process that can considerably lift your mood.
When something is bothering you, it is not personal; when someone is bothering they are not deliberately annoying you. Just give it a thought and move on.
5. Recall the last time you were angry:
Recall a situation where you were angry or frustrated and the situation worsened. The emotions of anger and aggression will not help much to handle or solve a situation. Thus becoming angry is not helpful.
6. Avoid being surrounded by worry and anxiety:
If you find your coworkers talking about something problematic going on in the office and worrying, avoid attending them and worrying yourself listening to them. When you start worrying unnecessarily it causes negative emotions that affects your mind causing you to feel angry on the situation or the people involved.
7. Try some deep breathing exercises:
It will benefit you to control your heart rate and breathing. Focus on breathing for some time and nothing else. Breathe in for few seconds and breathe out leisurely for another few seconds, and do it again for atleast five times.
8. Focus on how to make the situation better:
Look for solutions or techniques to improve the current scenario that is bugging you. If you fear being fired, look for ways to become alluring to your employers by bringing more business to the company and increasing your value in the company. Control your anger and frustration, and do not release it on your colleagues because you fear being laid off.
9. Detect anger when it’s building:
It is only you who can detect anger in its early stages. When you have learned how to recognize anger in its beginning, anger control is the next step you must do in that stage itself. The key to stopping aggression is to stop it in its source itself. It is you who chooses how to react in a situation, so if your initial impulse is to turn angry, only you can mould it to something constructive.
10. Own your anger
You must not blame anyone else for the way you feel. You are responsible for your own intense emotions and thus you cannot keep blaming others for a particular problem or the way you feel.
11. Express your feelings non-judgmentally:
Share what has made you mad other than judging other people as being wrong or inadequate for handling a task. Utilize ‘I’ to report your feelings and state how you feel.
12. Avoid being defensive:
Do not defend the way you behaved or the way you feel. Consider the fact that your emotions may be wrong and that you may have misunderstood a matter. Explore all the possibilities openly.
13. Ask for clarification and explanation:
Before reacting on something, ask the people involved for clarification and get to the bottom of whatever problem has aroused. Listening carefully can help to not misunderstand matters. Set aside all your thoughts and emotions and focus on listening to others to get a clear perception.
14. Stop what you are doing if you have passed the early stage:
If you are drowned in anger, make sure your first reaction is to stop everything you are doing and taking some time off. Shut your eyes, and do some deep breathing exercise. This will help your brain to stop being angry and put you in a positive track.
15. Dealing with co-workers who annoy you:
Never forget to be respectful to the coworkers even if you do not like them, you will need to put aside your ego and talk to the person respectfully and treat him or her as you would treat any other person. If the coworker behaves unprofessionally or is rude then you need to take some effort to explain the person firmly that you refuse such treatment from them.
16. Change your mindset:
You need to understand that things will not always be the way you want it to be or the way you expected. Life has its ups and downs and thus you need to alter your mindset and become more adaptable to the situations arising other than becoming angry when things don’t go the way you planned it.
17. Write out your thoughts:
It is sometimes necessary to, find that emotional thoughts release and thus you can get out your feelings in writing but ensure nobody gets the piece of writing. Write whatever you feel down on a paper and keep the thoughts to yourself. Avoid sending emails when you are angry, you might say something wrong which can go against you in the future.
18. Utter to a trusted coworker:
Mainly all have atleast one close supporter at the workplace. To this person one can disclose everything related to work. It can be therapeutic to discuss with this person as he is well aware of the company’s unique environment. However make sure you do it out of earshot of others at work. You can give the same support to the person in return when they are struggling with such emotions.
19. Find little affection:
At times you require a virtual hug. Friends who are not from work or such significant others are the ideal source for support and affection in troublesome situations. When you are very angry and disoriented, just a call or text to a familiar and friendly person who gives you the best of comfort in your life can be enough to bring you out of your misery and get you calm.
20. Distract yourself:
You have the best knowledge on what will be the things that will distract you the best from the difficult situation. Perhaps playing a particular game at lunch, checking in on social networking accounts, listening to music or reading articles on topics that interest you the most can help you to distract yourself. Getting involved in such activities can considerably help in altering your thoughts.
21. Grab a break:
If the environment at work has turned intense and distraction is necessary so that you return to work in a good mood, take a break and remove yourself from that particular setting physically. Go out for lunch or coffee, or just go out for a walk. To be out of the cubicle can help you to physically and mentally detach from something that you need to relax from.
22. Ask help or follow someone you look up to:
Ask an experienced person or your role model about how to tackle a particular problem. Know how they manage their emotions and how they communicate their anger problems to others.
23. Consider what is really important to you:
You need to consider what you really want out of a specific situation and then think if your anger can hinder you from achieving it. You need to identify your better state in which you are capable of making the best decisions.
For instance, if you become angry during a significant meeting due to something then you must consider if your emotions are important at that moment or the outcome of the meeting which will equally benefit you along with the firm.
24. Contemplate over other person’s condition:
If you are angry on how someone behaved at work or how something they did has caused you a problem, then before turning all red and getting all raged, ask the person what has made them perform weekly or what they are expecting of you. Perhaps they are in a difficult situation and need help. Placing yourself in their shoes will benefit you to look at things in a different manner before reacting.
25. Turn goal oriented even in frustrating situations:
When you are angry and having a conflict, ponder on the end results. Think about the outcome you need out of the discussion, think how the conflict is going to give you constructive solutions and provide you with benefits. It is really useless to have discussion or conflict when you are angry on petty issues. However for significant problems, it will provide you with deliberated solution.
26. Accept the difference in opinions:
People have different perspectives and at a workplace where all different people come together to work, differences in opinion are inevitable. Most of the conflicts breed with difference in opinion. So you need to seek ways how to not fall into some conflict with others.
27. Think if it would matter the next day:
When you contemplate whether something that has been annoying will matter you the next day or not, it will help you to let go of the anger today. You will realize that it is meaningless to prolong your anger issues as it will not matter to you the next day or even in the next hour.
28. Practice patience:
Practice patience in various settings and recognize its benefits. Once you have started to realize its benefits you will no longer feel difficulty in maintaining calmness. More than anything you can simply commit to the thought that you do not wish to spoil your health by turning angry.
29. Utilize humor to emit tension:
Lighten up your mood with the help of little humor. You can speak to yourself in your mind and try to lighten up by saying things that you are sure will be funny to you. With others also you can try to use your wits however ensure that you avoid sarcasm as it can upset others and cause more problems.
30. Know when you need professional help:
Sometimes it becomes a challenge for people to understand how to control anger. If your anger seems out of control perhaps you can seek help for anger management. You should not let anger make you do things at work that makes you regret and becomes harmful for your career, when you detect something as such occurring it will be good to seek help from a professional for anger management. They help you with ways to control anger.
You need to accept that becoming angry at work is absolutely natural. Thus it is fine to be angry at work but all that matters is the way one expresses and communicates it to the others. You do not want to throw tantrums or harm your surroundings and make a bad impression on your fellow workers or worse impart a bad image to your employers. At work you need to bring out the best in you and anger is definitely not the best in you and hence it is crucial managing your emotions in the workplace with the help of above tips.