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How To Be More Talkative and Less Shy?


Have you ever had the feeling of being completely quiet in a super loud world?

So many noises hitting your ears, working out all its way to your brain? When you think it’d explode, there is a hush within you.

You might have already decided your silence as a superpower or a loser’s power.

On a simpler note, you are an introvert and like to keep it low. If you think you should open up a little, it means you have enjoyed your super calm life enough.

How To Be More TalkativeWhile it is a fact that being introvert is no sin, opening up at the right places can get you in the right steps to success. Now, without wasting another microsecond, let’s get to know more on how to become more talkative.

How To Be More Talkative?

Understand, Being An Introvert Is Okay:

You first need to be okay with the fact that you have always liked to keep it low. You should understand that there is nothing wrong with the existing attitude in your’s, just a change and life always gives you opportunities to change things in your life.

Feeling bad already and rushing through the DIY steps to be more talkative won’t work. Since this is an actual change, you need to be more confident about yourself and be ready to accept the upcoming change.

Focus On The Positives:

Considering the fact that it is your first time trying to be an outgoing person, it is okay to be scared. But focusing on the positives will help you accept the change easily. This doesn’t mean you should expect only fun. Check out the positives of being a talkative person below:

  1. Finally, you will be termed as the people’s person.
  2. You are not perceived as a snob and a person with an attitude.
  3. You are preferred in a gathering.
  4. You will end up meeting some awesome people on the way.
  5. Now, you are prepared to take up the challenges that the real world offers.
  6. Your understanding grows and it makes you a diverse person.
  7. You make people feel comfortable and open up.

Shift Your Focus To The Real Opening Up Process:

Opening up doesn’t mean you sitting in a corner, thinking about ways to open up. Visualizing things can easily keep you just where you are. It will give you the satisfaction of the mission being accomplished while you haven’t written an A on your slate.

Start With A Smile, Improve By Giving Compliments:

A slight smile and hey! You look good! kind of compliments never fails as a starter. A smile can do wonders. These actions are easy for an introvert to try and certainly will not backfire. However, overdoing these is not suggested. A smile means a smile, not a creepy laugh. Minor compliments like “Your tee looks good”, “The food is really good” should do the trick. Not much of preparation will it take.

Questions As Step Two:

One way to keep a conversation live and ongoing is to ask questions. No one wants to listen to our stories but they would like to be asked about theirs. That’s how the funny world works.

While you have finished your compliment step, add a question to it. For example, “Your tee looks good. Where did you buy it?” This will make them want to talk to you about how the entire day of this tee shopping worked out. The probability that they’ll compliment you back and ask for your story in return is high. So, be ready to tell one, any, that relates to the situation

The Story – Short And Sweet:

Talkative people are interesting storytellers. That’s the key point. All of us can tell stories but they keep it interesting, even if it is long. Start by giving a gist of your story and keep the suspense shut so that the “how did this happen” question rises. Keep building the suspense by hiding the juice of the content. You have to be no orator, to do so. You will learn the art by conversing with different people.

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Be Genuinely Interested:

There is no point in investing so much effort with zero interest in people and their stories. One thing the other party can easily find out is that you are less interested. Understand that people are interesting too and get curious about them before you start a conversation.

Be The Listener – Not Always:

Listening gets you people who will further prefer to talk to you. In order to be talkative, you need to engage yourself in the conversation too. Whatever stories people say, you can always spot a situation from your life in sync with the conversation. Come up with one and take your next step as a talkative person. If you are not able to remember any incident, speak up phrases as I heard of that too, That’s awesome! and so on.

Practice To Perfect:

Take the process seriously and give it a show in front of the mirror. You will feel confident of your act and the same confidence will help you fix a firm first step.

What Not To Do:

When you are up for the challenge, you need to know the no-nos too. Not to scare you but it’s good to be cautious.

  1. Don’t overdo anything – be it smile or talk.
  2. You are excited and this is your first time. Understood! But don’t speed up your talk and let people know you are a first-timer.
  3. The only person who can completely understand you is YOU. So, indulge in activities that will boost your self-esteem. For instance, play some obvious games of your genre and by the end of every win, your confidence will take its next step up the ladder.
  4. Practice in front of the mirror only if you are okay. If you find the step embarrassing or hurting your self-esteem, it is not necessary. Some practice always helps but if that is asking you to back out, then we don’t require it.
  5. Small steps don’t hurt. You don’t have to rush into a party to get more talkative. Start from a small cafe or a call to your friend/sibling or so on. Start from the person who’s the closest.
  6. Messing up the first time is not an excuse to quit the attempt. People who have been talkative since the evolution of mankind, make mistakes, in fact, blunders. So, it is okay if you have messed up. You can pick what you did better in the messed up process and go with the flow in the next shot.

Feeling the anxiety within is something very common in the process. That is not an excuse to back out. Let us see how to deal with it.

How To Approach Anxiety While Trying To Be More Talkative For The First Time:

It is a well-observed fact that most of the initial conversations happening in a day are meant to go off the track even for a very good conversationalist. Stumbling words and running out of things to say, is a very common problem faced by everyone. You need not get worked up over it because it is a passing phase happening to everyone.

Approach anxiety, the fear of approaching and interacting with the person who you find attractive or interesting, cannot be categorized into an irrecoverable problem. It surfaces due to fear of being judged and losing your chance to make a good first impression. Here are a few ways to deal with it while trying to be more talkative for the time.

1. Avoid your fear by distraction:

Expressing yourself can be a tough task to do especially when you are trying it for the first time. Best way to begin is by misdirecting your attention away from the anxiety of talking to a stranger to something else like why you want to talk to them. Pondering over questions like these can also help you brainstorm topics to keep the conversation alive while at it.

2. Accept it:

The key to overcoming the approach anxiety during your first time itself is to accept that the rustiness is going to be there every day. Since you do not have any previous good experiences or any experience at all, it will be difficult to set a standard. Hence observe how others do it and pick any knowledge that you think will suit your style. It is a bad thing to get influenced by others especially if it is your first time. Rest all becomes imperative of the circumstances you face during the conversation.

3. Carry forward the momentum:

Establish a conversational momentum by talking to your friends or the people you know to get the hang of it. It can be a good warm-up task for you. Then gradually go to the person you want to talk, with the same momentum. This can cut out the focus on the anxiety problem and you will be spontaneous.

4. Present yourself ideally:

Wear a smile on your face as this will increase the chance of a positive impression. Also, make eye contact while talking to the person. First-timers generally overlook this point and maybe that is what causes the anxiety to persist. This will help you gain the attention of the listener and make sure you are heard at the other end. These are a few warm-up tasks that need to be done before beginning to make a conversation.

It need not be a very interesting conversation; it is always about having a good time and a few laughs which will make a good impression. If you are at a social gathering, make sure you have your momentum before entering into the core of the place.

After a sizeable amount of practice, you shall lose your warm-up regime and go straight for the target. You will no more feel the need to warm up as you have now honed your communication skills with days of practice. It is normal to face the slumps even after this and by sticking to your warm-up routine again; you can gradually build back up. This is the best way to handle the anxiety as a first-timer.

Hope these simple tricks make you a good conversationalist. If you come across any difficulties practicing these, do comment below – Let’s discuss more!