Breakup is the last and the toughest stage of life. It is indeed difficult to look at the other person without crumpling down. From a very juvenile age, we dream for a perfect love story, which will last forever. Sadly, not every story can last ‘forever and ever’. However, there is always that one stage when you fall for the other person ‘hard’. The duration of the relation does not matter, what matters is how hard you fell for the ‘would have been’ other half. When the relationship comes to an unfortunate end, the intensity of sadness and depression can ruin lives. There have been many cases where an unfortunate breakup damaged various lives. However, if you are going through the same phase of life then do not lose hope. A breakup is not the end of the world. Every incident is just a lesson learnt along with a hope for better future.
Breakups do not only ruin the person emotionally but also professionally. Difficult breakups may totally ruin the career advancements. Thus, here are some tips for you to save your career and throw away the sad feeling of breakup away.
Tips to Focus on Career or Studies or Work After Breakup:
1. Protect yourself:
Breakups are a result of in-competency between two partners. It may be through mutual understanding or a one-way decision. If it is a one-way decision, it is obvious that the other party has not moved on. If in your case, you have not moved on from the feeling of love and affection for the other person, then I would not be surprised to know that you went back to your former partner to take you back. Well, it is human tendency and an obvious first reaction. However, if you do not react on the spot and take time to think you would realize that he did not deserve you. A broken relationship has no future if both the partners do not share the chemistry. So, protect yourself and do not try to force a relationship unnecessarily.
2. Keep a grip on your emotions:
Breakups carry along certain emotions along with it. Anger, sadness and depression are common emotions. However, denial to accept the situation is the strongest emotion, which needs your immediate attention. These emotions can make your life a living mess if you do not keep a grip on it. One should never let anything rule their life, no matter how dearer the other person is/was. However, now that the dearer person is no dearer to you, do not let him/her rule your brain and emotions too. Do not do anything stupid that might prove to be a lifelong damage.
3. Difference between mourning and reacting:
Earlier I said that keep a firm grip on your emotions. However, I do not mean that you should mourn at all. It is very human to feel the pain and sadness. Moreover, there is a huge difference between mourning and reacting. Mourning helps in getting over the end of your ‘happy past’. Mourn and let out the emotions, cry and make yourself feel better. However, do not react based on these feelings. Sometimes you might want to call bad words, beat someone or even worse end your own life. However, reacting to these feeling might be the most idiotic choice you have ever made. So, cry away the sorrow and let yourself free from the bars of depression.
4. Be ever ready for some action:
What is the most painful habit or thing that consumes most of your time away? Is it stalking the social profile of your ex or scrolling through the messages, pictures and gifts of your ex? Well, if you do any of the mentioned things then I strictly advice that you should do the following things. Block his or her media profile right away. Delete all the pictures or messages that lay in your gallery. Return all the gifts that he or she ever handed you during the period of ‘togetherness’. Do not dwell onto the past memory lane. Instead, get up from your bed, walk towards your mirror and see yourself. If you encounter red, swollen eyes, then it is an indication that you should concentrate on your beauty. Take a bit more time to apply your make-up and be ready for office. Office is the best place to stay away from the web of loneliness.
5. Visit a friend:
It is always good to have a shoulder to cry on during the times of need. A friend in need is a friend indeed. At times like such you would realize your true friends. Share your fears, the feeling that is irritating you, the pain and sadness that is wrenching your heart. That way you would feel a lot better. According to UCLA, one of the studies proves that staying close to a friend lessens the chances of depression. Talking out the about bothering feelings serves as a painkiller in itself. However, if talking to friend is not making you feel better then consult a psychologist soon. A professional help may surely aid in making you feel better sooner and letting you be healthy enough to concentrate in your professional work.
6. Keep a thick line between personal and professional life:
Often it happens that you spend too much of your time in your office, working on your career. More time spent at office may result in more friends within the office. However, it is advisable that one should not share any thing about the personal life in the office. Earlier we discussed that one should share the feelings with friends but it should be limited to those who do not work in the same place as you. This will show your skills at handling both the parts of your life. Moreover, it will help in concentrating on your career advancements more.
7. Focus on the work at hand:
Now, you would say that, “I am suffering from depression so how would I be able to focus on work.” Well, there is this little logic behind that. Focusing on work will be like killing two birds with one stone. Physical pain eases the emotional ache temporarily. May be that is the logic behind self-harm. However, you would not be able to work with the idea of harm. Instead, exhaust your mind in your work. Take as many challenges in your career as possible and dwell into the operational work. This way you would be able ditch depression and focus on your career.
8. Balance your home and emotions:
What happens after you are done with your office hours? You go back home and again dwell into the despair. If that is your plan, then think about making some changes in the plan. Instead of going back home, go to a place where you feel calm and relaxed. For example, go to a park, garden, church, gym or any other place that might take you away from the sad thoughts of your former partner. Walk, roam and meditate until your mind and body are exhausted enough to think about the sudden loneliness. However, do not over do anything for your focus should be on getting your life on track and not vice versa.
9. Skipping meals is not healthy:
It is highly possible that you will not feel like eating. Your appetite decreases tremendously. The reason is your depression, which triggers the hormones. As a result, your body does not detect hunger. However, our body needs energy to work and skipping meals deteriorate the energy levels. Your body becomes weak and you would feel sick. Our physical health has a strong connection with the emotional status of our being. Thus, eat healthy food as it not only will keep you fit but also help you to fight the depression.
10. Do not opt for drug or alcohol as a solution:
Drugs and alcohol may provide temporary solution to the on-going problems. It might be an effective and tempting way to conquer the depression however; it comes along with various unwanted severe problems. These include the increased odds of addiction. Moreover, it is not a healthy habit and can severely damage some vital organs in the body. Further, a night spent in drowning down the liquor may give you the worst hangover of your life. Hangover in early morning working days may ruin your day entirely. If you feel that, you are not able to avoid the tempting feeling then opt to go for a walk or a rigorous exercise until your body and brain are ready to shut down.
11. Take time to heal and deal:
Yes, you heard it right. I said take time to heal and deal. Often people look out for rebound relations in the form of One-night stand or blind dates, etc. These One-night stand or blind dates may temporarily cease your pain. However, the second they are over you will again drown in the ocean of despair and gloom. These methods are similar to applying band-aid. Your one-night stand may cover the tragic scene of your life but not heal it. Breakups are the best period to understand oneself. Instead of diving into back-to-back series of relationships, spend time in understanding your capabilities and your dreams regarding your career.
12. Do not lose your smile:
We all are aware that smile is contagious. However, we forget the true meaning of smile and its strength. A smile can conquer any possible thing in the world. A smile after victory shows the pride and happiness but a smile when you are utterly broken on the inside can lighten up your mood. For example, observe young children in the park, their fight, their run, their toys, their ideas and their smile. They automatically lighten up your mood. How would you use smile in your workplace? Well, smile at your colleagues, at the receptionist, at any and every person that you see. This will not only make you feel lighter but also accompany some compliments along with them. Breakup is the toughest situation, however; when you conquer it with your brave and strong attitude, people will also perceive you as a strong person.
13. Go slow:
Time to heal is a necessity. Humans take time as they have no on/off switch. However, if you go slowly with one-step at a time it will become a lot easier to deal with things. After a certain period, think upon the relationship and your former partner. Think of the good times and forgive him/her. This will not only make you feel better but also your partner. How would you forgive him/her? Take a paper and note everything your former partner taught you. Every lesson you learnt from the relationship that made you stronger. Portray your gratitude to your teacher (former partner) in the form of forgiveness.
A single term ‘breakup’ is not the end of the world; neither can you take it as an indication for ending your life. Instead, it is the phase of life, which is in the form of beautiful lesson that you need to look forward. For example, if there would not been a breakup you would have never met your perfect, compatible and deserving partner. It is not limited to your story; many people might have fought their breakup depression (and won over it). Life is all about learning from the unsuccessful trials and experiences. There is no wrong step, instead, every step is a lesson learnt. Thus, do not forget the world and wrap yourself in the blanket of gloom, sad and depressed world. Make yourself stronger from this one experience and keep on moving. The power of love is undeniable however; you cannot underestimate the power of a breakup. Many people used this phase of life to turn their focus onto their careers and excelled in their motive. After all, life is all about moving on.