A friend with benefits term often leads to people minds of using people and leaving them after that but it is not at all about that. Friends with benefits are a relationship where one can have a casual sex with no string attached. Well, some people may get confused with that the girl and boy being in a relationship also can be called friends with benefits who have a closure with no string attached but it is actually two different things.
A boy and girl who are in a relationship have a closure and intimacy between them and they are set and discussed of staying together and spending life each other. Basically, such relationship and people are in love but this is not the scenario with the Friends with benefit. The boy and the girl who are in the term in being friends with benefits have concern or affection for each other but they won’t have a love for each other.
A movie title name “Friends with benefits” depicts a story about two people who meet each other and decides upon continuing this journey of being friends with benefits but later as time passes they fall in love. So, Friends in benefit relationship can also be the time to know each other and see that the feeling for each can be developed or not so that they both can take on to next level. There are some points or ideas for how to work friends in benefits without any melodrama and tension.
The following points will explain on how to work out that kind of relationship with no problem between them and how to work out things smoothly:
How to Maintain Friends with Benefits the Right Way:
1. Friend zone:
When a guy or a girl is looking for a casual hook-up it is better to find that person within the friend zone. Looking for a guy who is already in the friend zone will help in better understanding about the nature of that person. If that guy or the girl is not the type that he or she is looking for it will be easier for that person to not get into a gooey relationship which will stretch out things for a long time and it will be problematic from both sides. Therefore it is suggested to find a person who is within the friend zone.
2. Study the nature of that person:
Before getting into a relationship with being friends with benefits it is necessary to study the nature of the person so that if he is or not the type person wanted. By studying the nature of the person will help in identifying the qualities and the flaws of that person. Beforehand knowing everything about that person won’t arise any future problems among each other. If the person is very committed kind of relationship and doesn’t believe in friends with benefits it is better to know the nature of such people and then only take such steps.
3. Terms and Conditions:
Before getting to this relationship it is better to already lay the terms and conditions before starting such relationship because it is actually a very delicate topic and a relationship where one may not keep so much patience compare to the people who are in love with each other. Laying down all the rules and also the terms and conditions will help in the understanding of the relationship where there will be misunderstanding and problems later on between them.
4. It is not a date:
A friend with benefits never has dates to go to or plan about going out on a date. In this relationship, both the girl and the boy normally hang as friends with meaningless sex with no tie-ups to follow up through. Generally, when a girl and boy is in a relationship there is often hugging kissing in this relationship but here is not the scenario with friends with benefits relationship. If the girl and boy are sending good morning text, being possessive, or going on dates then this doesn’t define Friends with benefits relationship.
5. Know that the person is ready:
Before getting into friends with benefits relationship, the person should know that they are mentally and emotionally prepared for this kind of a relationship. There is always casual sex involved with one another and nothing more. This should be realized by the person and they should know that they only want to have a sexual relationship with the other person and that it will not end up as a real relationship.
6. There is always an ending:
Such relationship always has an ending it may not always come with a guarantee that it might stay for a very long time. Some relationship stays for weeks, some for months and some for years. This relationship has no guarantee of being with each other for a longer time or no. Such relationship actually doesn’t hurt either of the parties with moving on with such relationship and finding other opportunities.
If the person is not in love with each other will not stay together forever and friends with benefits do not stay for a long time.
7. Be open and Bold:
Be honest about the feelings if the feeling starts arising. That individual should ask himself the question if he has feeling for that person or is it just casual and nothing is going to change between them. But if some feeling arises then that person should share with the opposite person about it and clear out things about it. If the feeling will be just kept inside and what if the opposite person also has started getting some feelings this might be a chance for them to find a love between them.
8. No obsession or Possessive nature:
The individual should keep in mind that while being in these Friends with benefits relationship one has to be sure that he/she shouldn’t get too over possessive or obsessed over that person. If there is then that should be stopped because this can cause envy and enmity between them. There can be a chance of possessive nature arising because of the securities in that person, therefore one has to keep in mind that the individual is not getting too attached or possessive about each other.
9. Just friends and nothing else:
One should clear out the misunderstanding just that they are having meaningless sex so this might be a relationship but actually, it may still be friends with benefits situation for the both of them. One should not get too much attached if it is not meant to be but if there is some spark between both of them then it is their decision to take it to a next level or not. Friends with benefits just include friends having meaningless sex with agreed terms and with no strings attached.
10. Never send casual texts:
The basic relationship that the title “friends with benefits” carries is that the people shouldn’t interfere in each other’s personal life. So it is not advisable that a random text should be sent by someone. The time of messages such as “Where are we meeting, my place or yours’” should only be conversed among each other. Casual messages such as ‘How the day was?’ or “What are you doing?’ or any kind of small talk is not at all advisable as it may wreck the relationship.
11. Never Introduce to Friends:
It is considered as one of the biggest faux in friends with benefits relationship when one is introduced either to the friends or family. It can end up that all the friends and family start liking the person as it is already agreed between both that it is strictly sexual. So there is no need to take an unnecessary step which will lead to a headache for both the people
12. Never Get Jealous:
If ever in life either if the individual comes across someone whom they really like and wish to start a relationship, never be judgmental or jealous towards it if they want to discontinue the friends with benefits relationship. It had already been decided at the start of the relationship that it is just sexual and nothing more. So at any moment the individual should be ready to emotionally unattached from the relationship and it can only be done if no further step is taken by both of them outside friends with benefits relation.
13. Always know the difference:
There is always a difference between having a ‘Back-Up’ and a ‘friend with benefits’. A person of the opposite sex considered as a backup would be an individual with whom more of the socializing is done and probably both haven’t slept with together and may be the person who will end up with as they have already been accepted by all. But if people in friends with benefits relationship treat each other as a back-up they might ruin the ongoing relationship completely.
14. Nothing more than Sex:
All the possible closure should be kept for the next real relationship and never for friends with benefits relationship. In this kind of a relationship, the two people should never cuddle or never share any unnecessary personal feelings with one another. It just includes sex and that’s it and the feelings of one another should never be hurt in any way as there are no strings attached in the relationship.
15. Never with a Personal Friend:
It is never advisable to begin friends with benefits relationship with a person who has been a friend personally for a long time. This kind of relationships always works well when both the people have just met recently and haven’t bonded over the period. With a close friend, a hook up should never lead to both getting into friends with benefits relationship with each other as it may lead an end to their friendship for a lifetime and wreck everything completely as they may be emotionally attached with one other.
16. Always wear a Condom:
The relationship is just sexual and nothing more. So there is no need to complicate the relationship and risking having unprotected sex which may lead to pregnancy. So the male individual should always wear a condom while having sex so that the possibility of getting pregnant is reduced drastically. There is no need to complicate it by giving the person unwanted stress if they might be pregnant.
17. Try Everything with them:
With respect to the definition of friends with benefits, relationship tries all kinds of moves in bed with your partner, some which there was a shame of trying in the previous relationship. There is no need to take any unnecessary tension in trying something new as it may work well and both people might end up having a great time. These are the rules of friends with benefits relationship as there are no strings attached.
18. Never Sleepover:
After having sex, there is nothing more to be done with the person and so never stay the night with the person. Immediately after, the person should go back to their house as staying the night doesn’t comprise in the criteria of friends with benefits relationship and it could arise to many complications with both people. However tired the person is after sex, they need to gather themselves and head back home and get used to the fact that this is how these relationships work.
19. Always have options:
At any point in the relationship, if things aren’t working out well, then it is completely fine to end the relationship and move on. So the person should realize that the relationship can end at any moment so they should always keep their options open in the world if they wish to be in a more committed relationship with another person or want to continue having the same friends with benefits relationship with another person. Or if the person wants to be freed from it then they should end it whenever they wish.
So basically for a person who wants no commitments towards a relationship and just wants sex, then friends with benefits relation is a good way to get it. But they must also know that as the relationship is going on they don’t get too close to the person and start having feelings for one another and if it does happen it is preferred that they get out of it soon as it may ruin both their lives.