I wish I could not care it all about people liking me or not! But I would like to share it with you that, even after gaining success in my career, I still fear rejection and failure!
For some, not caring at all is a step too far. I know many others like me who experience a very strong fear of rejection. For most of them, it is too strong that they even fear of trying at all.
Rationally, fear of failure or rejection is nothing to be embarrassed by. It is an inevitable aspect of everyone’s life and even the first step towards success. Irrationally, almost everyone fears rejection.
At one point or another, almost everyone experiences nagging self-doubt, makes negative comparisons between them and others or at times feel we are untalented, undisciplined, and not intelligent enough to reach our ambitions.
The irony is that such fears become self-fulfilling forecasts. According to a research, there is a strong link between procrastination and fear of rejection. This implies that the more anxious we feel about accomplishing our ambitions, the less likely we are to take suitable actions towards reaching them. It is an irrational reaction, but a difficult one to resist.
So, if you want to know in detail about the subject of fear of rejection and the best ways to overcome it, then read this post until the end!
Understanding the Fear of Failure Meaning:
Every person has some amount of doubt regarding the success of a project, examination, interview, relationship, or other elements. However, if the situation is extreme and the fear of rejection conquers our mind and emotions, then this condition is known as Atychiphobia. Also called as Kakorraphiphobia and Kakorraphaphobia, fear of rejection is extreme when we stop doing things just because it will fail.
There can be numerous causes for fear of failure. For example, some people develop this fear because of unsupportive and critical parents. Since they regularly humiliate a person in childhood, so they develop such negative feelings in a person. In another case, one may experience a traumatic situation in his life. This can also be a major cause for the development of fear of rejection.
For example, numerous years ago you must have offered an important presentation in front of a big group and it was very bad. This experience must have been terrible and have developed a fear of failure and rejection. And you might carry this fear even now, after several years.
This Atychiphobia is also known as the fear of failure phobia!
Fear of Failure Procrastination – Is there Any Relation between Fear of Failure and Procrastination
Fear of rejection or failure affects the lives of children, adults, and teens. I would not be wrong if I say that fear of rejection is followed by procrastination. But the good thing is that, using the same techniques you can overcome both procrastination and fear of failure.
Procrastination is one of the symptoms of fear of rejection. While some may consider procrastination as a sign of laziness or stubbornness, but in most of the cases, it is the result of fear of failure. If you will notice then this strategy will make you stay away from your goals.
I would state procrastination as the symbol of fear of making mistakes and then get rejected or experience failure. Often times, procrastinators have very high and unrealistic expectations. This keeps them away from undertaking the tasks.
Mainly, perfectionists act as procrastinators. It is because they expect unrealistic things even from simple tasks and as a result, they put off these tasks.
Procrastinators often generate a continuous cycle where they keep on shaming themselves for their rejection of things that they intended to do. If the situation is left uncontrolled then this can result in self-esteem and depression issues.
Experiencing the fear of rejection or making mistakes will never allow you to work up to your potential. Even this will never allow you to maximize your potentials to the fullest. The fear of failure is experienced more by women than men. This develops from childhood when young girls are afraid of taking risks and avoid experiencing challenges. This lacks proper development of problem-solving and coping skills within them.
Hence, procrastination follows fear of rejection.
Fear of Failure Psychology – The Psychological Aspect of Fear of Failure:
Fear of rejection is a psychologically toxic emotion. It is because rather than feeling guilty or sad about it, this fear can make us feel bad. Failure can affect our egos, our self-esteem, our personalities, our identities, and our feelings of emotional welfare.
Fear of failure can lead to various damaging elements. Hence, it becomes an urgent need to combat this fear of failure and avoid experiencing the psychological threats.
To ensure that you identify this problem early and to examine it properly, you must be aware of 10 psychological signs of fear of failure.
- Fear of failure makes you worry about the way other people think about you.
- Fear of rejection always puts a question on your ability to pursue things to achieve goals you desire in the future.
- Such a failure develops psychological feelings that individuals will lose their interest in you.
- If you constantly fear how efficient and capable you are, then you are experiencing fear of failure.
- This will always worry you about disappointing people whose opinions matter to you.
- If you constantly get distracted by tasks that prevent you from completing the preparation, then this is a sign of fear of failure.
- You always tend to tell others that you will not succeed and you will not be able to meet their expectations.
- If you experience last-minute signs of stomach aches, headaches, and more then this is another sign of fear of rejection.
- If you failed in a task before then you will always consider that you will not be able to do it.
- You procrastinate and lack enough time to achieve your accomplishments.
How to conquer fear of failure : Proven Strategies
- Reframe Your Goals
- Visualize Obstacles
- Uncover Your Story
- Surrender and Feel The Fear
Ways for Overcoming Fear of Rejection and Failure:
1. Accept the Fact of Fear:
It is essential to acknowledge the fact that you have fear of failure. No matter what is the intensity and frequency of this problem, but if you have it then it will prevent you from proceeding ahead in the life.
When you accept the situation, then you will be able to take appropriate corrective actions to improve the situation.
2. Know the Cause of the Fear:
In order to conquer the fear, it is first essential to know where it came from. You have developed the fear during your school days, or your early childhood, or the negative family environment or your first job. The fear of failure may also develop because of an uncomfortable episode in the life.
So, if you understand where it comes from, then conquering it will become easy.
3. Write down the Problem:
If you want to analyze the problem then the best way is to define it properly. The best way to do is to write it down on a piece of paper.
As far my experience is concerned, this will solve 50% of your problem. It is because it will also help you know what is exactly bothering you.
4. Accept Rejection as a Natural part of your Life:
One thing you must remember is that everyone suffers rejection at one point or more in life. Even the most successful people on earth have experienced rejection at least once in their lifetime.
Also, the most beautiful woman might not be attractive to every man. This is a part of life and you can never become one who everyone would love.
5. Don’t be too Strict on Yourself:
Bring critical to yourself do not mean that you would become an excellent performer. It is alright to have certain imperfections. No one is perfect and may lack the skills needed to do a particular job.
This does not imply that you do not possess the necessary, unique assets. Even you must have certain advantages, which you might have taken for granted.
6. Set Realistic Goals:
Another easy and effective way to overcome the fear of failure is to comprehend well that a rejection could work as a wakeup call. For example, you may apply for numerous jobs. But when you are applying for them there would be some clear requirements.
If you have none then you will experience rejection ones, twice, or more. As a result, you would pitch to more appropriate job vacancies.
7. Stop Thinking as it is the ‘End of the World’:
Another effective way to combat the fear of failure is to understand that you can never know what the future is about. Just don’t consider a one-time rejection at the end of your world. This is the problem with most other individuals.
If you don’t make it to a job or they are not able to gel well with few friends or they are not liked by any one of the girls or guys, then think it as the end of their world. Just be a little practical. You will discover that there will always be better opportunities. This is not the end of it!
8. Analyze the Cost of Missing Opportunities:
I am not saying to take advice from others always and every time, but it is better to discuss things first and then take a decision.
Whether you are making an investment or making an important career move or making any important relationship decision, the key is to make well-informed and calculated decisions.
For example, if you are taking a decision regarding your career with two aspects – one is a safe career with high growth opportunities, other is a risky career offering the best values.
Just make a positive motivation and this will urge to ignore the fear of rejection.
9. Write Down the Worst Outcome:
Another way to combat the fear of failure is to identify the worst outcome of a situation. It is essential to identify the worst possible outcome that can occur as a result of this situation.
You are losing the relationship, losing money, losing investment, losing health, losing a job, or losing prestige. When you will be aware of the worst possible outcome that will lead to stress and anxiety, then you will be able to combat the problem in a better way.
Slowly and gradually, you will be able to overcome the problem.
10. Develop Positive Thinking:
Positive thinking can help overcome the problems in a much better way. Visualizing the correct outcome is a way to develop your self-confidence as well as self-sabotage.
A positive behavior can help you combat the problem. It will always provide you with confidence and will ensure that you don’t make mistakes or experience problem while taking a decision.
11. Listen to Your Gut Feeling and Heart:
Taking approvals from others will not ensure that you will always take correct decisions in your life. Also, don’t take decisions just to please others!
If you fear of what others will say to you, then you might be making the biggest mistake of your life. Think again what are you really doing and what you wanted to do. There is no need to prove anything to others. Just listen to your heart.
12. Treat Rejection as a Lesson Learned:
You can handle failure in two ways. One way is to learn from it by asking yourself what your flaws were and why you were not able to make it a valuable experience. The second way is to escape the situation. The better way is to learn new lessons so that you become a more compatible and proficient person.
Top Books on Overcoming Fear of Failure:
- The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
- Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
- Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
- Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang
- Go For No! by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz
- The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris
- The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris
- The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
- The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
- Fearless by Max Lucado
The biggest fear is the fear itself. If you fall negative in a situation then make sure your subconscious stays strong. So, be fearless and just try to achieve the success. Sooner or later you will reach where you desired to!