Crushes occur everywhere over the place and can also occur in the office. It can be complicated, as many of the workplaces grimace on office romances.
Crushes on a coworker hold the possibility to get cluttered as well, for a range of reasons.
It is usual for workers to cultivate romantic feelings for colleagues as they spend together 40 hours or more every week in a restricted space.
But, office crushes can negatively influence the quality of your work as well as your reputation, if you don’t cope with it in the right way.
It may even be unsuitable based on work surroundings and job status. The majority of crushes are momentary and fade away eventually.
How to Deal With Crush at Work?
Dating is a fun thing which is tried by almost everyone. Though most of the time people enjoy a lot spending time with each other on dates, but there are times when everything doesn’t go smooth.
Dating is surely an enjoyable activity only if it is dealt properly. And one needs to take extra care especially when it is an office related crush.
Many believe that office crush usually leads to broken relationships and lower productivity at work. But this is not the case always. If you are capable enough to handle your relationship in the right way, then you need not worry about anything. So most of the office crushes do not blossom due to lack of knowledge on how to deal with it.
Now if you too are the one who requires such advice then here are few tips you need to follow.
- You do not have to act even if you have a true feeling for the person
- It is never an act of guilty
- Never let you feeling take control of you
- Enjoy the fun and joy you get during that phase.
Office Crush Signs:
When working together in the same environment and always being with each other obviously generates an attraction between each other. It may be mutual or completely one-sided, whatever the case may be, in no way it should disturb one’s professional life and work.
The best way to solve it is to find out the truth and sort it down. If you find it difficult then mentioned below are a few workplace crush signs to make things clear.
- Smiles at you very often
- Blinking a lot
- Interested in speaking to you
- Grooms themselves well
- Show special caring for you
- Feeling nervous
- Makes direct eye contact while speaking
- Trying to trim down hair or dress when you look at them
- Feet pointing toward you directly
- Body language changes when with you
- Teases you and acts funny
- Tries to get your attention
- Movement of eyebrows while speaking
- Being protective
There are loads of things to consider, however, below are few techniques that can help to deal with an office crush.
Tips and Techniques to Handle Office Crushes:
1. Stay professional:
Over all else, you need to stay professional in the office.
If you start acting in an unprofessional way, then matters will get very bad very rapidly.
By behaving professionally, however, you may keep matters in perspective and ensure that you sustain your job.
This is particularly essential if you do not wish your crush to know your feelings.
2. Don’t let your crush surpass you:
A number of people are extra willing to take advantage of your feelings.
Plus it is a human tendency to be fond of people they like and care about, so you can be lured to buy your crush coffee or lunch and so on.
In addition, your crush may be completely willing to collect the benefits of that, even if he or she does not essentially feel the same way. This is never good.
3. Focus the right way:
It implies that you must try to keep away from gazing pensively at your crush while you are at the office.
Absentminded glares can disclose your feelings faster than roughly anything else. Moreover, it is unprofessional to stare like this and it can cause trouble.
4. Do not be obvious:
Be cautious of your actions. Apart from holding your self-esteem, restraining may help you sustain your professionalism and rescue yourself from uninvited gossip.
Your actions can convey your feelings and can be noticed by the guy or others at work.
5. Stay with the reality:
In case you have a crush on someone, it is usual to begin fantasizing about that person.
It is also not rare to start mixing up those fantasies with reality, specifically when you operate with your crush and besides, you work so much time jointly.
It is vital to be steadily aware of the reality, and place your fantasies absolutely distinct from your professional life.
6. Be practical:
You even require being realistic.
- How does your company take on office romances?
- Does your crush throw any clues about feeling the same way?
- Do you actually believe a relationship could take place?
Never let your feelings obstruct your common sense. Stay sensible and make certain that you keep matters in a rational and truthful perspective.
7. Stay calm:
You need to behave as cool, calm, and composed as possible. Don’t become emotional or giggly and don’t even allow your crush to influence you like that.
If required, imagine like your crush is not present there at all, mainly if that is what you need to do to maintain things on a professional degree.
8. Consider the consequences:
In case you really believe you desire a relationship with the crush, you must start contemplating the consequences.
Will it jeopardize your job?
What will ensue if you break up?
You should think concerning what functioning conditions will be both throughout and past a possible relationship.
If the disadvantages overshadow the advantages, then, limit your fantasy life totally and divide it from your career.
9. Social ramifications:
If you plan to act on a crush you hold on a coworker, there can awaken serious social ramifications, as per whether or not the crush reciprocates.
Understanding the dangers of these may be enough to finish off your crush.
Possible problems can be being denied by your crush or lingering discomfort if the crush does not reciprocate, or if he or she does, however, the relationship eventually does not work out.
10. Go through the company policy:
If the company where you work oppose or prohibits personal relationships amid coworkers, and you don’t wish to imperil your job, then remind yourself of your precedence.
You may possibly settle on that the crush is not worth endangering your job.
Considering the ramifications of having a relationship in the office perhaps will be enough impetus for you to terminate the crush.
11. Avoid becoming a gossip:
If you dwell on a crush, and the others discover, gossip may spread. This can be the situation even if you just speak about the crush, and don’t really act on it.
Gossip can develop a bad reputation for you for being unprofessional.
If you are concerned about these risks, it is best to not chat about your workplace crush or with colleagues out of your workplace.
12. Discuss with your friend about your situation:
Allowing someone else to know regarding your dilemma can reduce some of the pressure of having a crush you don’t wish to act upon.
Additional to offering the support of a sympathetic ear, your friend can even hold some advice to give. It will be appropriate to talk to a non-work friend.
13. Boost your non-work interactions:
You perhaps have cultivated a crush at work as you have not had adequate chances to discover romantic interests out of the workplace.
If you are working too much or overlooking social interaction besides work, then cause yourself to set aside some time to hang out with non-work friends or visit and do few activities that you enjoy.
Hunt for opportunities to come across new people outside of work, since this can take your attention away from your office crush.
14. Concentrate on positive distractions:
Crushes mostly occupy our attention because we allow it to happen so.
However, if you revolve your mind around other things, it can be easier to get beyond the crush.
Absorb in extracurricular activities in which you gym for fitness, or listen to happy songs, or watch set of movies other than chasing and pondering about your crush.
15. It is not always necessary to act:
If you are certain that you can maintain your work and love life separately, you will even be able to cope with having a crush on a coworker by acknowledging the reality of your feelings while also affirming to yourself that you will not act on them.
Having an office crush can also be favourable at times. For example, it can make you dress better and contribute more in your company.
16. Establish a boundary:
If you are resolute not to involve in office romance to steer clear from jeopardizing your job or some other reason, then formulate rules to prevent any crushes you could have.
For example, you can settle on to just interact with your crush when there are other people present, as this can aid you to avert from crossing over your boundary.
Many times, settling on boundaries can make it easy to divest of stress and run off emotions.
17. Avoid posting about your crush on social networks:
If a coworker has sparked your interest and you are pondering on posting about it on your social networking profile, then think again.
News tours swiftly via the social media network, particularly when you have added nearly all, comprising of your colleagues.
Your posts are a mirror image indicating who you are as a person as well as professionally, and if you are reckless, it can humiliate you and the guy vastly.
18. Don’t fall for your boss:
Persons in positions of power require keeping additional defined boundaries for their judgment to remain impartial.
If you are developing crush on your boss and throwing some cues on their way, then chances are you will be tagged as someone who is seductive and flirtatious, not only by those who observe you, but even by your boss.
19. Do not over text your crush:
You need to understand you are not his or her wife or husband respectively, and neither are you their parent.
When the person gives you phone number, they expect that you will only utilize it to contact them for reasons of work or the occasional team outing and not to enquire whether where they are, what they’re doing, or what time they will be coming in.
20. Respect them as a colleague:
Do not treat your crush as someone too special in the way that you wish to do all to make the person’s work easier.
Respect the fact that the person was hired in that position as the company thought he can tackle things even without your prioritizing their requests.
You will not just be fair to the person, but even to your work mates, who are waiting for you to administer their work too.
21. Avoid expectations:
It’s good to discover someone to encourage you during your work, however, while you will be fantasizing about getting together with that person, do not imagine that they will make your wishes come true by any chance.
Developing your expectations can only trap you in a swamp of unreciprocated feelings, and this can disturb the way you deal with the person on a daily basis including your performance at work.
22. Remember that you are in control:
Your emotions do not control you. Remind yourself, you are in charge.
If it feels as if your feelings are taking over, it implies that you have allowed yourself for these intense feelings to develop for too long.
Control the way you think and feel and channel your emotions in a more positive and yielding activity.
23. Do not feel guilty:
If you have a crush and you start feeling that you have crossed a boundary or messed up your life, it is time to recover from these feelings by again reminding yourself that your thoughts do not control you but you do.
Do not let such emotions grow in you or it will have adverse effects on your work life.
24. Avoid getting carried away:
Operating during most of the day together will grant you with plenty of opportunities to talk about each other’s life and its trouble.
Sometimes a person can object or open their heart to uncover some essential detail. Never get carried away in such situations.
The information is exposed to you under the temporary weakness of the human mind which at times desires to unburden itself.
Convey your incapability to get in the way of their life as they can be the best judge of the issues that they are encountering.
25. Let yourself enjoy it:
Just as you must not feel in the wrong, you must not prevent yourself from acquiring some of the joy and excitement that comes along a crush.
It can also be beneficial for productivity. If you are smitten by someone, you are potentially going to groom well, utter clever things in meetings, plus usually be a more dutiful employee.
26. Is the grass really greener on the other side?:
Possibly your home situations are not as perfect as it could be. This does not imply that acting on your feelings with the person at work will lead to become the dream relationship.
That potential relationship can be better however in all odds you will be switching over one set of troubles for another.
How to Handle an Office Crush Like a Pro?
Romances or crushes are mostly devious and sensitive in nature, especially office romances. You need to act smartly when dealing with such things. It is totally upon you on how you want your office romance to grow. A piece of small advice which I would like to give is, never make it a talk of the town especially when it is one-sided.
Here are few tips to follow when dealing with office romance in a safe manner
- Do not reveal your feeling to office colleagues
- Even when you are dealing with it, always be focused on your work
- Create limits and maintain professional when at work
- Make sure, you are not going against your company policies in this case
- Don’t make the mistake of getting carried away
- Never let them take advantage of you, be it any manner
- Don’t be with them just as you have no choice left, meet others as well
- Make sure you are aware of all the consequences that can come in your way
- You don’t have to be guilty
- Never miss those tiny little moments you get at that phase
Best Ways To Get Over An Office Crush:
When you are working in an organization, it is obvious that you meet new people and socialize with each other. There also happens times when you may get a crush on a colleague. Being attracted when working together is very common, but that doesn’t mean you behave like a pervert. Also, this doesn’t happen to everybody.
Relationships in offices are very tricky, you need to be smart enough to handle both your work and also the relation. There is a popular myth that relationships in the office can ruin the productivity of the employee involved in it. But as mentioned it is just a myth (originated by few instances), which does not hold true in all the cases.
Also, another issue with office relationships are breakups or when things begin to go wrong, getting over such things is not that easy. As it is not the end, moving on accepting reality is the best solution.
Here are a few steps you can try to get over an office relationship.
- Speak out to your best friends
- Be brave and face the situation as it comes
- Distinguish between reality and fantasy
- Involve in social activities
- Try to do creative things like art
- Understand that it is not the end
- Create limits and be by it
- Remove yourself entirely
The attractions occur as you spend most of the day with that person and share plenty of things too that happen in a day.
However, you need to rationalize the consequences of such crushes well so that you do not waver from the current situation of your career and focus on your work rather personal life.
Channelling your emotions become equally crucial as you have to face the person each day. Remember you cannot get rid of the situation but will have to deal with it effectively.