Anger management is something that is an absolute need of the hour for most of us, majorly. Every human being alive on this planet gets angry at some point of time.
There is no harm in being angry as anger itself is a perfectly normal emotion just as love and hatred. Only if dealt properly and with utmost care, anger can transform itself into a healthy emotion which could be beneficial for all of us in the long run. However, for the most of us, anger management issues are a very common sight that is faced frequently, on a larger base.
Controlling anger is utmost necessary as it can cause oneself and many other people at the risk of endangering themselves, very commonly. Fights and abusive language is a very common sight when in anger. Recklessly endangering oneself whilst in anger is something which needs to stop at the very moment before it creates havoc in someone’s life, whatsoever the issue is. Explosive anger spills out like a volcano, bursting out all possible emotions, which usually goes out of control if a person experiences chronic anger management issues.
Following are a few strategies that one can make use of whilst dealing with people who are hot tempered most of the time and make them simmer down in seconds:
Tips and Techniques for Anger Management:
1. Think twice or thrice before speaking: Many a times people say stranger things is the fist of anger that are totally not expected from them. You say things, the other person gets hurt, you regret later, you apologize and all that jazz. Instead of following a longer routine, why not settle down for not speaking anything unless you are totally under control and are aware of your senses of how they work and in what situation they will let you down? Sometimes, it so happens that in the heat of the moment, you spill out beans that were not supposed to throw out, at least not at this hour of the day. Do not say stuffs which would later make you feel ashamed of and make you regret in the near future. Calm yourself, collect your thoughts, allow the other person to speak, as they are the ones whom you matter the most and bring back the situation under control by staying quite.
2. Calm yourself and then express your grief: As soon as you drive past your boiling point and reach a cooler stage, confront the person whom you are angry on in a very assertive manner. Let the doubts be solved and pave your way through arguments, concentrating more on the concerns from both parties. Express your frustration as to why that thing of concern made you angry, but, in a no confrontational way. Believe in what you say, be confident in it and that would definitely bring peace to both the sides of concern. State your issues in a peace loving manner without hurting anyone’s sentiments, by trying to control them in a positive way.
3. Exercise yourself: Physical activity is the ultimate solution for reliving yourself from getting angry. This is the solution that has been applicable to one and all and has been in existence since ages. Physical exertion during the time when you feel that your anger tissues have reached the zenith of it, leave everything and go for a walk, be it a brisk one though. Run, exercise, but indulge yourself in one or the other physical activity until the time you think that you have relaxed yourself and are in a cooler state of mind, possibly.
4. Timeout: If you think that this is a silly idea, then it surely is. But what if such a silly idea can bring peace to your mind? Remember one thing; ‘time-outs’ are not just for kids or toddlers. Even grownups can use this silly trick to get rid of problems for once and all. Relax your muscles, give yourself a time of your own, and give a break to it. Let everything come to a halt. In days like these, stress buster’s other name is timeout. A few moments of stress free and care free time with yourself or nature helps you relieve stress and anger for quite a long period of time. It does help, with many like us.
5. Look out for solutions: If something is driving you crazy, instead of cribbing about that thing to every next person you meet, focus on the thing that caused it and seek for a solution. No complaints, no demands. Why not give a helping hand in resolving to that solution instead of going on blabbering about that issue? For instance, if you find your kids room messy, close the door. At some point of time the child will himself get sick of being in a messy room and clean it up himself. Some things in life are meant to be adjusted; all you need to give is time and space.
6. Stick to I: This happens quite often that you fail to garner adequate sentences and make a wrong statement most of the time. Thus, to get rid of this issue is a solution of using “I” statements wherever possible. Try to be specific enough and gain respects by giving the same amount of it to the person you expect it from. For instance, if you have an issue of dealing with leftover food and cleaning the dishes, you can frame a better sentence by saying, “I am upset with the thought that you did not offer me to help with the dishes”. Instead of saying, “I am upset because you never do any household chore.” The way you frame and mould your sentence helps you in getting away from a situation that would have caused anger to both parties.
7. No grudges, no pain: Use this mantra to be happy forever in life. This happy mantra can relieve you out of all stresses and anger management issues. Forgiveness is a divine act. It adds power to the person who forgives and is considered to act as a powerful tool. Do not hold a grudge. You may be surprised to know how negativity and anger can block your mind of all the possible positive vibes you would have been rewarded with if not being angry. If you forgive a person who has angered you, you will be relieved out of sourness and bitterness and you might learn a divine act from this situation.
8. Make constant use of humor: Humor can release tension for a while. Making constant use of humor can lighten up the mood between both the parties. It helps to diffuse tension for quite a long period of time. Humor adds sarcasm to your life, which on the other hand, helps you solve intense problems in life. Any unrealistic expectations can be solved with the use of humor. Sarcasm at a higher level should be avoided, as it might just in case hurt someone’s feelings and cause you in trouble, a little lately.
9. Relaxation skills to the rescue: If at times when you feel that the temperature has soared up beyond its limits, you need to cool yourself down immediately. Remember, when temper flares, you need not boost up. Practice breathing exercises, listen to Sufi music (or any soft music for purpose), imagine a relaxing scene, and turn down to the nature for help. Nature is human’s best friend as it would never let you down to cool yourself down. Practice a phrase and keep repeating it instantly, “Take it easy, Keep calm.” You might also want to try your hands on few of the yoga poses or gym exercises that would ultimately cool your mind down, for a while though.
10. Visit a therapist: A therapist can give you a better insight in knowing what causes so much anger in you. You might just want to forget everything and burst out at the person who has angered you, lingering the relationship with that person can risking yours too. A therapy is the only solution to knowing more about your furious nature and to explore the reasons behind one’s anger. Therapy is helpful in practicing new skills to deal with your every day anger issues and managing them to the fullest.
11. Anger management classes and lessons: This is a unique way of knowing how to stop your very desire of controlling anger. If a student is unhappy about the way he performs in school, parents enroll them into classes. Same is the case with these classes. It triggers your very own conscience. Such groups allow you to discover more about yourself, ultimately putting a full stop to your daily issues on anger management. Here, you can learn tips and get to know more about other peoples’ lives and how they have emerged themselves from their anger management issues. These classes work more of it as a self help group.
12. Live life king size: Live your life to the fullest. Live as if each day is your last day and you may not wake up to live the next day. If you have such thoughts constantly lingering in your mind, you will definitely forget all the possibilities of anger. You will try to find happiness in all the little things in life and forget about issues such as anger and hatred. Although this is a silly task to conclude that it might just help to bring you out of the angry phase, but you never know, what might work as a miracle for you!
Start today, make amendments. Managing anger will bring you one step closer to knowing each other and rekindling your relationship with the world. Anger is a force that can jeopardize one’s relationship and it can be incredibly destructive. Follow the above strategies mentioned as it can help you manage the anger management. Use this emotion anger as a boon not as a bane.